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Wham! Bam! Thank you, Ma'am! - livin the life of cockslap mckooshballs
yeah, i'm talking to you
razor_cooter
poseurpants
Wham! Bam! Thank you, Ma'am!
Here are a few of my favorite Hollywood suicide notes:

George Sanders...great actor, total cockslapper in All About Eve
"Dear World, I am leaving you because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool - good luck."

Carol Landis...killed herself over Rex Harrison, that dork from My Fair Lady
"Dearest Mommie: I'm really, really sorry, to put you through this. But there is no way to avoid it. I love you darling. You have been the most wonderful mom evr. And that applies to all our family. I love each and every one of them dearly. Everything goes to you. Look in the files and there is a will which decrees everything. Goodboye, my angel. Pray for me."

Dearest Mommie? Nice touch!

My all-time favorite belongs to kinda-sorta Hollywood star, Lupe Velez who took a ton of pills. When the pills didn't do the trick, she crawled and vomited her way to the bathroom where she ended up drowning in the toilet.

"To Harald, may God forgive you and forgive me too but I prefer to take my life away and our baby's before I bring him with shame or killin him, Lupe."

Heh. Learn to spell, dipshit.

Howard Armstrong, inventor of FM radio killed himself, too. I listened to FM radio today. I don't blame him

Suicide is pretty fucking stupid unless you're famous. If you're famous, go for it. It's always amusing. The only way I'd do it is if I could possibly overdose on rock 'n roll.
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uber_retarded From: uber_retarded Date: March 13th, 2004 12:04 am (UTC) (Link)
Howard Armstrong, inventor of FM radio killed himself, too. I listened to FM radio today. I don't blame him I fucking concur.
When I die in my mid-thirties, I hope it is directly related to excessive consumption of cough syrup, mouthwash, diet pills, nail polish remover and effexor. I want to have the brain capacity of a retarded toddler and the digestive system of an eighty year old with spina bifida and pancreatic cancer. I feel insensitive.
By the by, there will be no note.
From: poseurpants Date: March 13th, 2004 12:23 am (UTC) (Link)
i tried to kill myself when i was 14 by taking a whole bottle of tylenol p.m...i wrote this really dumb note about nobody understanding me, blah blah. i ended up not getting sick and just sleeping like 30 hours and waking up to a rerun of magnum p.i.
uber_retarded From: uber_retarded Date: March 13th, 2004 09:34 am (UTC) (Link)
im not joking, i did the EXACT same thing at 13. and puked my guts out. i didnt write a note though. im getting a little comment-happy.
__tangerine__ From: __tangerine__ Date: March 13th, 2004 06:57 am (UTC) (Link)
I would make my suicide look like a murder. Perhaps with Courtney Love as the perpetrator.

Yes, throw that ho in jail.
_fancypony From: _fancypony Date: March 13th, 2004 09:58 am (UTC) (Link)
spelling errors in suicide notes are the best ever. so Heathers.
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